Motherfucker. I haven't said that in a little while so I thought I'd get it out of my system. Lately I've been about stress reduction. I took a trip to La Vida Spa in Foxcroft to get a 60min rubdown recently. They had some deal going where you pay $39.95 for a hour massage (typically it runs $79.95). I thought I'd take advantage and get my fat, bloated ass caressed for a bit. I walked into the place around 3pm on Friday and was greeted by a hot brunette. She gave me some forms to fill out about my previous massage experiences. Being that I've had none, it took about a minute to complete. The survey basically wanted to know what areas you'd like the masseuse to avoid...umm, how about my ghetto booty? Other than my ass, I basically gave my bitch free reign. I say that hoping that, in fact, it was a girl who'd be rubbing this Greek God. Read More to Continue.
In honor of the 24 Hours of Booty fundraiser tonight, I present one fine booty. In all seriousness though, if you have time to come out and support the event please do. If you are participating in the event, I wish you good luck. I am hoping to get out there this evening and take some pictures. Anyways, here you go:
In my humble, yet always correct, opinion Librettos serves up the best pizza in Charlotte. I would probably hand second place to Villa Francesca. Like many of you, I enjoy a good slice every now and again. I don't know what that shit is they think they are serving at FUEL, but it ain't pizza. Unless I am three sheets to the wind, I won't set foot in that joint. I am continually on the prowl to find new and exciting places to stuff my face full of bread, cheese, and tomato sauce. I found just such a place not to long ago. Read More to Continue.
I was walking through a parking deck the other day when I noticed something a little unusual. There was a bike tire chained to a rail. The body of the bike was missing. I naturally thought that some bums had simply unscrewed the bike from the front tire and stole the thing. I laughed, took a picture with my phone, and continued on my walk. The following day my travels brought me through the very same deck and where I stumbled upon the owner of the bike. He was huddled over the remaining tire looking perplexed. I felt badly and thought I'd at least offer up the fact that I had seen the bike missing since yesterday. Perhaps it would help him put a timeline on when the thing got stolen. Turns out, the bike wasn't fucking stolen. The guy was an avid biker and had multiple tires to switch on/off different frames. Part of me felt a sense of relief...yet part of me was pissed.
I decided to get out and play some golf over the weekend because I figured the heat would keep the crowds away. I was right. Before I hit the course though, I took a trip to the Lotus Chinese buffet on North Tryon. The Lotus isn't a bad joint. The fried rice was a tad on the soggy side, but not much else was wrong. I would go back. Anyways, I identified the Tradition Golf Course as my destination and began my short journey from the buffet to the grounds. Along the way I saw an interesting bumper sticker on a car with a Kentucky plate. Read More to Continue.
There is a lot to get to. I've been relatively busy over the past few days:
1. Played 2 rounds of golf, at 2 different courses, in 2 different States. I have thoughts about both.
2. Ate at a new restaurant on the fringe of Uptown.
3. Witnessed one of the more bizarre events I've seen being held at Mez.
4. Took a picture of a rather humorous crime.
5. Baked in the sun, got drunk, got sober, got drunk, and a little unclear what state I am presently in.
I'll get to all of the above shortly.
I'm not going to lie, I feel like ass. I spent all yesterday drinking and watching ESPN. I was curious when the NFL lockout would end. Anyways, I got my lazy ass off the couch and walked to Alive After Five. I drank a ton of beers and tried to make myself enjoy the Bon Jovi cover band. It wasn't happening. I went down to Mortimers to drink even more. Once I decided to head home, I cracked open the only cold beer in the joint, laid on the couch, and passed out. I damn near puked walking to Dunkin Donuts this morning. Anyways, I'm going back to the couch. Enjoy your Friday ya sons of bitches.
I took this picture while waiting on my order and twiddling my dingaling. I am inside a Hardees off 85 South. I prefer Hardees burgers to any fast-food burger out there.