The Charlotte John

300 East

09/30/2011

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I decided to take myself out to dinner. Knowing full well I can get lucky with myself at any time, there was no pressure on this date. I visited 300 East for the first time in a long time. The restaurant itself is held in a renovated home alongside East Boulevard. Much like the home Cajun Queen resides in, this one is a pretty home, and  therefore makes a pretty restaurant. I don't often use the word "pretty", but for some reason it seems to fit 300 East well. Pretty cool eh? (You like how I did that? See what I did just there? I just wrote that I don't use the word pretty a lot and then I....ah fuck it). Read More to Continue.
 
 
This is how I start my days....and end them.
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Recently I decided I’d visit Scarowinds for the first time in my life. For those of you that don’t know, Scarowinds is the name given to the Halloween-themed party hosted by Carowinds Amusement Park. Basically, the park transforms itself into "hell" from 7pm-1am on weekend nights around Halloween. The park installs a shit-ton of fog machines, employs hundreds of  people dressed up in costumes, and builds haunted house and mazes. They also open up most of the roller coasters for patrons to enjoy. Read More to Continue.
 
 
Well, hello. A little bird flew into my window the other day and said, “Damn you look ugly as shit naked. Why do you sleep in the nude? Nevermind. Did you know the Panthers are actually competitive this year”? I replied to my new bird friend, “Shut the fuck up you stupid bird. I’ve already got my tickets to the game so go bother someone else”. Read More to Continue.
 
 
Many drivers in Charlotte absolutely suck. The reason being that most of you are transplants from the North, and Northerners can't drive. Driving isn't rolling around on the ice and smiling because you made it to work safely on a day when it snowed over a foot. Southern people don't think you're good at driving because you face inclement weather all the time...all we think is that where you live sounds shitty. Read More to Continue.
 
 
I'm going to assume that only white people will read about this post. I went to Kennedy's off of 7th near Uptown Charlotte on Sunday afternoon. I wanted to sit out on the patio and watch the Panthers play. I did not see a single black person the entire 5-6 hours I was there. I did, however, see about twenty-five dogs. Don't get me wrong, I like dogs, but the amount of dogs at this joint was just a little bit over the top. Read More to Continue.
 

Thursday

09/15/2011

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Tonight marks the final Alive After Five at the Epicenter, and I shall not be in attendance. Fuck it. I've been to so many of those fucking things that they do nothing for me. I'd rather post up at the end of a dingy bar and listen to people bitch about how they might/have/will lose their jobs. Yes, I enjoy hearing about other people's misery. Why? Mainly because I like watching how they deal with it. Do they freak the fuck out? Do they become emotionless and detached? Are they optimistic shit will get better? Besides, we all know how fucking miserable happy people make us. Read More to Continue.
 
 
I decided I would do some wine tasting this past weekend....in Virginia. As I have aged, I have grown to appreciate good wine. I don't know the first thing about what makes a good wine, or how to truly appreciate it, but I know it fucks me up a lot faster than beer and taste delicious with steak. 

I left Charlotte on Friday and headed toward Charlottesville, VA. Just outside Charlottesville is a sleepy town called Crozet. If you've been there...I'm impressed. The nearest Wal-Mart is 15 miles west in Waynesboro...if that helps. Read More to Continue.
 

Friday

09/09/2011

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Ah happy friday to you. I have no clue what conference is in town this weekend but I walked through the Uptown Westin Hotel last night and the place was packed. I suppose I could have easily stopped and asked, but I'm sure I can figure it out based on the people I see roaming the streets today. Right now I feel like it is either a "Biggest Loser" casting call, or a "Hoarders: Help my Wardrobe is Stuck in the 80's". Welcome to Charlotte. 
 
 
I wouldn't describe my recent journey over to Ireland as a trip to paradise...let's be honest, when I think of paradise I usually envision a white sand beach, clear blue water, and a bunch of chicks strolling around in thongs. Also in my paradise, the chicks seem not to mind that my dick is so small I often pee on my own nuts. Who knows if such a place exist. Anyways, Ireland is often overcast and relatively chilly in relation to a September in Charlotte. However, there were parts of my trip that were just about perfect. Read More to Continue.