The internet was offline at my place for two straight days. I'd much prefer to have my goddam cable out for two days, than my internet. Who is to blame? AT&T. I understand the service on my iPhone is going to suck...I've come to terms with that, but once you start fucking with my internet, I'm going to get pissed. AT&T is the wholesale internet provider for Charlotte Wi-Fi. Since I subscribe to Charlotte Wi-Fi, I am essentially at the mercy of AT&T and their shitty-ass "network" for all my online needs. Read More to Continue. 

The other day I noticed my laptop was failing to connect to the internet so I called up the Charlotte Wi-Fi helpline after trying to troubleshoot the problem myself. Here is how the conversation went:

Them: Hello, my name is Melody. How may I help you?
Me: Hi Melody. My internet appears to be down. I was wondering if you knew why?
Them: Umm, has it been down for long?
Me: Yea, closing in on 24hrs.
Them: Oh umm, well can you log-in to your Charlotte Wi-Fi account?
Me: The internet is down Melody, I can't log-in to anything.
Them: Oh umm, I'm going to check my notes.
Me: What?
Them: One moment please. I'll have to put in a service request for you.
Me: How long will that take?
Them: I'm unsure to be honest. 
Me: Well thanks for being honest. Let me be honest with you...how the hell do you expect me to look at porn now?
Them: Well, I don't know sir. Perhaps use your imagination?
Me: Thanks, bye.